Matthew Davies: Poetry etc.

Yes, it is time for an answer to my questions. However, we must consider the problems that lie in our path. Behind me is a wake filled with burned atmospheric poison, scattered memories, and my hometown. Keep me safe from the end of time so that I can accept what I have been avoiding for a long time. My fingers are rough and the people inside my head can rival any pain that I feel in a cut up right hand. Lords of this land have been pushing the empty idealizations they contrive in secret meetings. Gross miscalculations have marked my life for complete ambiguity.

Monsters on the recliner,
Demons next to me in a cross-country mobile home,
I could sleep at the bottom of the ocean and still be scared.

Keep your head up my friend. The worlds are next to each other, and the universe is a place where I can rest my nervousness.
I know it all seems conceited, but give me a break. There is a history of introspection in my family. Go ahead and ridicule me, cause it makes me feel like I am important.

Don’t take what we say too seriously, it means nothing.


May 28, 2005

Give me this,
Moving out,
Find a new home,
Curled up in a ball of tiered eyes.

Coffee machines traveling across the country,
She goes from one ocean to another.

Tropical climates are fun and sweaty,
Deserts are hot and dry,
Sand in my brother’s eye,
Iraq,
Attack,
Scottsdale,
Metered mail.

Letters are how we keep in touch,
I am sad when my family is in the rear view mirror,
My little sister is no longer innocent,
What is innocence anyhow?

The paper work wanted to know how old I was when I had my first sexual encounter,
The ladies wanted to make sure that my blood was clean,
The doctor told me to check in once in a while.

Past is chasing,
Future wishes,
“I wanted everything to be perfect,”
I look at you, but my eyes are dry from the desert.

Serving drinks in the sky,
Above the hopes and dreams.

Blue sky,
Green eyes,
Grey blue.
Looking into you;

Closed mine,
Brown sounds nice,
To me in a slice of life,
Cold circumstance,
Next chance I get to dance,
We take a stance against;

Monsters in my closet,
Bank deposit,
Graduation check,
Bend back,
Do not attack,
Making reference;

Literary comfort,
Ernie and Bert.

Caged bird,
Do you remember?
Cold December,
Snowfall in May,
And going on your way?

Machines instead of clothespins,
A dose of Jesus, because everybody sins,
Cain my sore shins;
Outs and ins;

Discourse,
Winning with divorce,
Money on the slow horse.

Hard drive,
Contrive,
Talk jive,
Stay alive,
Local dive.

Still hope in vain,
That my faith won’t be contradictory,
No need for victory,
Weak, as far as I can see,
What else can anyone be?

Yes, I miss you a lot,
The airplane cabin is hot,
You’re on the beach, and I am not.


May 22, 2005

Confusion managing time until departure for the Midwest.
Delusions understanding the wait.

Players on the field and the youngsters in the balcony.
Soothsayers talking about the end and the places you should stay.

Carolina on the mind and out the hotel window.

Misjudge a southern gentleman,
Nudge a brother, a couch in the den.

California calling,
Cell phones annoying,
Fly by night activism, politics, but music saves

Most of the people I know are out late and sleep past noon.
I am turning into my father.
He does not sleep past 3 or 4 AM.

Late night cynicism and jealous solitude.
Coming to meet the early risers with coffee and a new book.
Lazily pulling the sheets over my head by 10 PM.

“Use a subject, a noun, and some clauses!”
The sun at the horizon pauses,
Waiting to feed the day,
“Your words are meaningless,” I heard the wise man say.

I know that I am in need of a hair-cut,
I think that mabey that will happen soon.
I might find it hard to explain in the night time,
The way sun is warmer at noon.

Tell the coach to let me play,
Tell the nightmares to stay away.

When slow wind falls,
A warm rain blows.

Loyal to liberty and all the rest.

God damn it, were out of the desert,
Into the north treed fields,
Yellow prairie grass.

Free from those Yuma police,
Not a cloud in the sky,
Not a worry in the mind.

Uprooted trees expose red and purple dirt rocks,
Glitter of sun reflection on the various minerals and rivers,
What makes a bush a tree and visa-versa?

Our auto shadow is now moving at 65 miles per hour,
“Oh hell fire, that puts us in another city in just under an hour!”

What am I writing for?
My eyes can see,
Look out, down,
Look around not inside,
Ask more questions,
No more talking like you know who God is.

Rollercoaster downhill yellow stripes asphalt.


(January 2005)

It makes sense to want money when you don’t believe,
Without a trick up your sleeve,
Pigeonholed and assumed naïve.

I was told to sell out, get a job and wait fro time,
Walk the plateau instead of climb,
Replace inspiration with another silver dime.

Time goes in, out, around and through the vastness bringing me to you,
I’m there now but don’t know what to do.

Hold out for more and wait for something golden in life,
A family of 6 and perhaps a wife?


(Summer 2004)

A wireless connection tells me that it is sunny where I am not.
Today’s Cup match was uneventful,
It seems to echo days of late.
Not that much can be said against this life,
Just a lot of events that lead to stalemate.

I have said it before and I’ll say it again,
Grey skies will do that sort of thing to a man.

Dictionaries define boredom,
Someone without a good plan.

Go to learn what is available,
Typing faster than inspiration today.
Might just as easily go out and get drunk.

Dark strangeness I lean on decay,
Sliding towards the lake is the tree,
Side white brown both sides of me.

Intricacies never to be seen again,
Moment consumes the jumbled branches,
Wind tunnel limbs comb for trash.

Organic chandeliers of root plastered with mud,
Inhospitable cold wards off the work crowd,
How could they know of this bluff treasure?

Work of art in random nature,
Gravity and erosion are the artists of this masterpiece.

I am in a different place than the cars,
But they whip past at eye level,
And minds control their speed,
Going places, but I don’t care about life,
Anyway, I don’t care about life outside of what I feel.

So, a dark crevasse is where life is now,
A few green leaves hold the past in memory,
A wind brings with it cold future.

When I am not aware,
The present is there.

Just at that point,
A squirrel flashes his shadow on me,
Going on with his life.

But I don’t care about life.
Not the way you see it.

(Winter 2004)

I procured an illness,
My lungs are not what they used to be.
At the same time I decided to make some changes for the better.
Sleep all day,
My lower back is sore from coughing so much.
I realize my own fragility.

I was sitting in the pre summer breeze and feeling small,
Ants were using the cracks in the pavement as their highways.
So maybe narcissism is a quality of mine,
I try not to think about it all that much.
I guess I just assume life is filled with things that are unavoidable.
But maybe I could try to be more accepting,
I feel like I have disappointed the outside,
But thinking that may be a self-indulgence in itself.
So Doctor, can I bother you for another prescription?
I started taking it every other day and found myself drifting in and out.
Asleep in my car next to a park in the afternoon,
And the next day shirtless in the sun, on the grass, giving up.

Your speedy reply is much appreciated.

Yours truly,
Normal subject the First.

Something can be wrong with out something going wrong.
It drives a lot of people crazy to think of,
All kinds of history and past that is obvious,
When it is obvious things are slight and fleetingly passive.
But, little flowers break through the fresh spring grass,
They are purple and white against the bear feet passerby,
Stopping in his or her mind but not in stride.
Just going wrong with no particular reason.
Furniture is weight on their shoulders,
A link in the ball and chain.
Don’t let it bring you down, a Canadian once told us that.

Double espresso and a cigarette,
I passed out.
Sorry friends,
I know I said something about a joint,
But that will have to wait.
What a difference two weeks makes.
The contents of my car are worth more than the vehicle itself.
I need to eat,
I am confused and he is wearing stupid glasses.
Good day!

Can we expect the children to initiate affection?
In a world where credit is assumed by presentation,
In a world that begs to be misused,
In a world that opens to nothing,
In a world where growing wiser meant becoming more confused.

Young Mr. so and so, a reputable young man,
Owes, but they let his debt pass,
We were discussing this in class today,
If I were a Victorian gentleman, would I have a casual opium habit?

I talked with my mom from across the room,
Her poise always makes me feel like a child.
I am always hoping for an answer from her,
But I have been taught to figure it out for myself.
She quietly does some needle work while I try to impress her.
I can remember being young and going through the same thing.
Back then the questions were simple.
Now I want to know what love and life have to do with me.
She just calmly tilts her head and smirks,
I can’t tell her but I know that she knows.

If I talk about my plane falling out of the sky latter today,
It does not increase the chances that it will occur.
And don’t get scared if I call you later than you might have expected.
Had a double espresso this morning,
Drank it in the sun and my skin glazed over with perspiration.
Fell asleep last night and slept through a 4.0.
There are things more important in my life than the tremors of an earthquake.
(At least I’d like to think so.)

Library near the beach,
I want to move but it’s hard.
Closed my accounts in one place and ready to open new ones.
When you deal human flesh instead of drugs you feel worse;
At least that’s how I see things.
Commodities, assets, making a living.
Walking with no shirt,
I found new people willing to be friendly.
I figure it will take about 25 hours in my car,
And I am willing to try as hard as I can.
Don’t kill me if I get seriously annoyed by the sun

Yours truly,
Insecure contestant number 1

Sun,
Headache,
Morning,
On a couch recollecting myself.
Nothing to look forward to,
I want to go to Wales,
My love might be waiting there.
I could manage my little house in the hills,
Reading books and walking hand in hand through the mossy green.
Trees could answer my questions,
Rivers could show me the way,
So that is too simple, I must admit.
What about ?
Money?
Family?
Heat?
Everything can go wrong,
Nothing will go right,
I don’t really like Chicago.

(February 2005)

Palm trees rise on seemingly impossible trunks.
We talked about the way that the wind sounded like rain through a big plant outside of her window.
Walking up to the doors of the library,
The white sidewalk and white building made my eyes cringe with delighted warmth.
How easy it used to be as a freshman.
One of my great friends transferred from Iowa,
But I did not know him yet.
Six years and I am still young,
Still thinking about calling my own shots.
Falling asleep with the door open and the sun pouring in the windows,
I looked at an answer that was lying next to me in a chair on the floor.